Motherhood On A Whim

February 6, 2018

Rain Coat || Rain Boots (option 2; option 3) || Blush Leggings
I think there is no greater joy in the whole world than being a mama, and that's even on my worst mothering days. There aren't adequate enough words to describe the way it feels, how it shapes you, and the rewards it provides. In the very same breath, motherhood is also the hardest, most anxiety-inducing role of my life. There are days my heart plummets to my feet as I watch a near miss when Greer's feet slip out from under her. Or the way my mama heart also has the new-found capability of imagining the very worst scenarios when I let worries get to me. I know I'm not alone in this, because I have mama friends who have expressed the same sentiments.  We mull it over together, and thank goodness for a tribe of women who just get it. There's encouragement in that even when knowing that these motherhood anxieties will just evolve over time with each new season of life. 

One area of motherhood that used to cause me a lot of dread was dealing with the milestones. And I'm not talking about birthdays or those first steps. I'm talking about things like 1.) when to take the pacifier way, 2.) transitioning out of the crib, and 3.) potty training **moans**. I would start to fear their arrival because I didn't feel like I had a clear course of action in knowing how to handle it. My type-A personality needed an answer and a concise plan, both of which I did not have.

That's when mother's intuition kicked in, and I listened to it. One afternoon, following a nap, I just decided it was time to initiate a new rule for Greer's pacifier. From then on, we have only allowed her to have it at nap and bed times. A simple explanation was all it took, and Greer went along with. It took a couple of days to fully adjust, but the on-the-spur-of-the-moment decision was exactly the right time.

This initial success didn't erase my anxieties for other upcoming milestones, because I figured it was a lucky fluke. I had some time before any other big adjustments were on the horizon, which kept the worries away for awhile. But as soon as we started discussing the transition to a big girl bed, I started fretting the small details and didn't feel like I could pinpoint when we would make the leap. Just like before, a moment in time happened and on the fly we completely rearranged Greer's room one Saturday morning and set up her big girl bed. She was thrilled to give her crib to Junebug and take on a big girl bed. We've had no problems since making the change, and she's done exceptionally well, confirming our timing to switch up the bedding situation.

Next up is potty training, and while we have had successful potty-using every now and again, I know that it's not quite go-time for pursuing it 100%. We've made sure to talk about it with Greer, but that's the only consistency we're keeping. I feel certain that when the timing is right, I'll know and we'll tackle it full-steam ahead. But, y'all, I'm not worrying about it. Not one bit. And that feels great!

Basically, what I'm saying is that there really seems to be no clear timing to do something or implement a big change. I can't speak for all the mamas, but this does ring true for me. I've learned it's about listening to your gut, and when it comes to your littles, your gut is typically right. Waiting for the right moment, within reason of course, has worked well for us. It's really helped me lose all the dread and built-up anxiety when it comes to these milestones. Like I said, I'm no longer worrying about when to start potty training. Instead, I'm paying attention to Greer (to see when she's ready) and listening to my instincts. Explaining this all to husband (and since he's lived through two on-the-whim transitions at my beckoning) has given him trust in my process too.

W A Y S    T O    F I N D    S U C C E S S 

  • Making sure to be clear in explaining the transition to your little. From what's happening, the new rules/boundaries, to why. We also encourage Greer to share back to us what all is going on to make sure she is grasping it. 
  • Keep open communication with your husband. Let him know where you're at and find out where he's at too. Discuss the transitions that await, get on board together, and work as a team when it's time to implement. Being on the same page is so important for your child and for your marriage.
  • Don't compare your timing to others'. Every little is different and so is every mama. Trying to make a big change in your household for your child should be on your timing and not when you feel pressured to do it. Again, I think this is all in reasonable timing. 
  • Give yourself grace. If you feel like it's the right time, but things aren't transitioning smoothly, stick to your guns and persevere. If you feel certain that your decision is right, don't beat yourself up if it's not the easiest-going. 
  • Talk with your mama friends to share your experience and gain new perspective. Just sharing is also a great way to process for yourself and find encouragement! 

Ultimately, you love your little and you want what's best for him/her. Motherhood on the whim when it comes to these transitions is just another way of saying that my mama instinct is in control and definitely worth listening to. Trusting yourself to make the call, and of course knowing your child, is what really matters!

**Affiliate links were used in this post. Thank you for supporting the blog!